SHORT reply to Tip #5....

5.Have a weekly date night with your husband: To be content as a stepmother and survive the stresses of step family life, your relationship with your partner must be the most important priority in your life and his (right after your own well-being, which should always come first). Having fun together strengthens your relationship and makes it easier to get over the crises when they occur.

My Personal Response:

This is something that I strongly encourage! My husband and I don't practice this as much as we would like but IT DOES make a world of difference when we take the time. Taking the worries away from everyday life and just laughing and having fun with one another always makes for a stronger relationship to me.

Don't forget "date night" with the lil guys! Our oldest boy would always ask for "mom & son" days! He loved  them & still tries to get one in even at 19 years old! I have always had date night with the lil guy too! Its been harder since I have my Zadie girl but we still get to go on the occasion that daddy watches his little princess.

Sorry my blog posting's have been so "off & on" but we have some new things going in our lives!

I do appreciate you hanging with me to see what I am thinking about next! Hopefully next week, I can get a full week in every night!

# 6 Tip/ Response.....

6.Accept that your feelings for your stepchildren and the feelings that your stepchildren have for you are “good enough”: Oftentimes, stepmothers feel pressured that they must love their stepchildren and expect their stepchildren to reciprocate that love in return. Love is an emotion that can’t be forced. If you love your stepchildren, that’s wonderful, but if you don’t, that’s also acceptable, as long as you provide kindness, compassion, and respect to them. No more and no less should be expected of you. When you remove expectations that you must love your stepchildren, it'll be easier just to be nice to them -- and in a genuine way. This can lead, eventually, to love.

My personal response:

Time!!! It takes time! You cant make them love you and visa versa! Remembering that the children are adapting to many new things within a new family circle and this includes you, the step-mother! I started off loving my step-kids as my husbands children and as time has grown, I love the kids as "our" children. (bio-mom included) It does take time and much acceptance between both us and the kids. I have always had respect for my step-kids and "most of the time" I have received it back 10 times in return. The love for "our kids" followed.  I think that if you remind the children that you are not here to replace there bio mom, it helps a lot. This was one of the 1st steps taken by myself before I ever married there daddy. I totally accepted all 3 children with open arms & now 6 years later, I can now say:

 "I love "OUR" kids unconditionally!"